I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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