please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
Randomize
