so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
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