So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
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