Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
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