It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
Randomize
