i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
Randomize
