I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
Randomize
