'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
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