I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
Randomize
