I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
