I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
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