do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
Just realized tomorrow is the anniversary of the time Dean and I glued DJ's leg back together with Neosporin and an Ace bandage. I'm bringing red velvet cupcakes to the party to celebrate.
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Randomize
