In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
If its not for food we ain't going out.
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Randomize
