You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
