Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
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