Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
Why is there a wet sock in my garbage? Why did I chug so much red wine? Why was someone signing into my iCloud account at 4 am in China? Why do I do self-destructive reckless things? So many questions.
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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