i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
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