Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
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