if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
He told me they were just razor bumps!
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
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