so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
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