There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
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