I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
Randomize
