There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
Randomize
