so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
Randomize
