What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
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