hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
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