Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
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