while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize
