Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
Randomize
