I swear god or herbie drove my car home
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
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