Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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