The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
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