i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
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