You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
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