If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
Randomize
