i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
Randomize
