yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
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