No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
MASS TEXT: Next weekend I will be in town for St. Patty's day. There will be a bonfire and liqour olympics. We will have booze but in order to participate it is byob. Upon arrival everyone will be asked to sign a waiver. I am not responsible for liver failure, death, loss of clothing or memory, bites, scratches, hickies, pregnancies, or any other for of injury you may obtain while participating. There will be ridiculous amounts of green glitter, be prepared to puke it up. ALSO WEAR SOMETHING GREEN OR YOU WILL BE PENALIZED!! AUTOMATIC 5 SHOTS. HAPPY GAMING!!!
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize
