spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
Randomize
