No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
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