Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
You were screaming at a bartender last night for not referring to you as god.
and apparently I tried to pay for beer with a tampon.
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
