In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
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