It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
Who put my cat in the fridge?
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