id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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