Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
