Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
Randomize
