ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
Randomize
