I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
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