i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
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